O depresivní sobotě a pohodové neděli – den první

německý ohař HyenaHyena je jak na péro to je fakt. Jak má málo pohybu (a že ho má sakra málo) je to trága. Má dny, kdy je mazel k pohledání a dny, kdy je na zabití a my na prášky. Běžný den se nedá moc dobře vypustit na volno neb rizik jako nečekané podražení vratkých berlí důchodcům, poskákání a olíbání s ohaří radostí všech malých dětí v okolí, vítání všech pěší na chodnících, stíhání všech malých psů, plašení holubů, popelnicové labužnění na všech srajdách co jich venku najde a jiných podobných kratochvílí je za ten den moc až hodně moc a to že opravdu móoooc.  Přidejme k tomu neochotu se při rozjařilosti a radosti z volnosti nechat přivolat zpět a když už tak s úspěšností asi tak 20% a je z toho všeho pekelný koktejl, který způsobuje pravidelné výbuchy nevyčerpané energie v nočních až pozdních hodinách kdy mezi 21:30 a 22:30 každý den čekáme, kdy sousedi pod námi zabuší nejdříve na naše dveře lehce rukou a pak na můj obličej těžce pěstí. Naštěstí se tak ještě nestalo.

Průběh počínajícího večera vypadá pak tak, že se něco těžko identifikovatelného v té rychlosti pohybu pouze rozmazaně černobíle-šmouhovaného žene z kuchyně přes chodbu do obýváku kde na hranici podlahy a koberce na poslední 0,5 vteřiny prudce brzdí hřbetem o stěnu a dveře na balkon, aby se následně v další vteřině oklepalo z nárazu, rozhlédlo se a prudkým hrabáním za téměř kouřové clony z driftujících tlap po plovoucí podlaze konečně nabralo potřebnou adhezi pro bleskový zpětný přesun opět do kuchyně, kdy těch asi tak 12m je překonáno něž člověk vůbec zaplaší myšlenku že se jí po nárazu něco stalo. Na dokončení této myšlenky ani není čas, protože zhruba v polovině této myšlenky se do děje opět vměstná rána jak z děla, kdy se zběsilá černobílá koule zrovna v kuchyni vpasovala pod radiátor, při současném odstrčení barové židle a srolování kobercové předložky do kouta. Změť koberce, hraček, kuchyňských utěrek, černobílé koule s hrabajícíma tlapama a smetí ale nemá čas přemýšlet o tom co se stalo, neboť přidá plyn, volume doprava a už se opět žene do obýváku. Není radno při těchto manévrech stát dráze této střely, neboť je to smrtelně nebezpečné a není ani radno nechat otevřené dveře do koupelny cirka uprostřed této trasy neboť černobílá změť by dozajista prošla skrz. A to i několikrát za sebou. Celý cyklus se opakuje asi tak 20x než jí dojdou síly a nám nervy. Tento cirkus se dá ještě libovolně kombinovat se skákáním na sedačku a dolů eventuálně rovnou přes sedačku.

Vzhledem k opakování tohoto cyklu každý zhruba asi tak 2-3 den jsme usoudili, že je potřeba energii vybít, respektive udělat nějaký rychlý energetický zkrat. A co je nejlepší na vyčerpání energie? Velká louka na kraji města, kde může lítat jak tornádo buď sama nebo s nějakým jiným pometlem, eventuálně jí můžeme vyčerpat sami asi tak hodinovým pekelným aportováním všeho co nám přijde pod ruku. Buď se vyčerpá Hyena nebo my.

Naše trpělivost podobna rychlovarnému hrnečku z pohádky Hrnečku vař doznala svého konečného limitu před přetečením a tedy značně pobouřeni a v pekelných depresích jsme se rozhodli zapůjčit pípák a tento v sobotním načatém odpoledni řádně otestovat či nám nepřinese alespoň na chvilku úlevu z našich depek a úzkostných stavů, že máme nevychovaného psa a že se to vůbec ale vůbec jako že vůbec vůůůůbec nelepší. Dlouho jsme s tímto extrémním řešením otáleli, ale bohužel naše munice je téměř vystřílená. Zoufalá doba vyžaduje zoufalé činy.

Tedy vybaveni pamlsky, zapůjčeným pípákem, míčkem na házení, zrnkem pozitivnosti a našimi depresivními stavy jsme vyrazili opět na Dívčí hrady nad Zlíchovem.  Zdejší obrovská louka asi tak 500 x 500m nám přišla zcela adekvátní našim cílům a očekávání. A když už něco očekáváme tak jedině úspěch. Po první rekognoskaci terénu jsme se zaradovali neb louka byla zcela prázdná. Nějaká dvojice v dáli na kopci se jistě nedala počítat jako reálné ohrožení našeho plánu. Jali jsme se tedy naplňovat naše plány a předsevzetí.

Hyenu jsme vypustili do terénu, zatím vcelku krásné rovné louky vůbec nepřipomínající měsíční krajinu našeho bytu po jejích energických eskapádách.  Nechali jsme ji chvilku běhat a zkoumat díry rozryté po myších. Pomalu jsme se přesouvali přes tu rozlehlou nekonečnou louku dále. Stále si nás hlídala, držela se kolem nás. Sice v okruhu asi tak 30m ale buďme rádi i za to. Ale copak se to nahoře na louce děje? Kde se najednou bere tolik lidí? Nějaká výprava? Z ničeho nic se celý vršek louky hemží lidmi. Matky s kočárky, otcové s dětmi, děti bez otců … všichni mají v ruce draky a chystají se je pouštět. No aby ne, je podzim a fouká jak o život. No tak to je dneska asi konečná.

To bude pro Hyenu určitě povyražení porazit pár dětí a roztrhat pár draků. Při té myšlence se oklepeme raději se snažíme přivolat Hyenu zpět. Hyena ale jak je v ráži tak opět neposlouchá. Jak jinak. V tlamě má klacek, který vyhrabala bůhví kde a zrovna jí zajímá, co se děje nahoře na louce. Bere dráhu a máme pocit že její tupo-slechost, majitelé-slepost a mozko-vymetenost zrovna vygradovala do dnešního maxima. Nu což. Stále jsme váhali ale máme jedinečnou příležitost vyzkoušet pípák jestli to na ní bude mít nějaký efekt. Jakýkoli. Buď to zabere nebo zdrhne do dáli a to definitivně. Poučeni o funkčnosti víme, že po druhém neúspěšném přivolání stačí jeden stisk a nové přivolání. Už je asi tak 50 m od nás a následuje opět přivolání-tupost a ani druhý náhradní pokus se nedaří. Mačkáme tedy tlačítko na vysílači a …. a nic. Mačkáme znova a opět nic. Nic se neděje. Co se stalo? Proč to nefunguje?

Hyena naštěstí zavětřila, že nás už nějak moc dlouho neviděla. Bez zpomalení dává pravej blinkr a obloukem se naštěstí sama vrací s klackem zpátky. Dost se nám ulevilo. Děláme tradiční výměnu klacků. To je taková hra, když jí chceme přivolat na klacek a nechce vydat ten co jsme jí hodili tak ho vyměníme za jiný co máme schovaný už dlouho v ruce a ten je téměř vždycky lepší než ten první. A tak pořád do kola. Pak je ochotná si i sednout a zůstat v klidu. Alespoň chvilku. Kontrolujeme pípák. Co je špatně? Přijímač bliká, vysílač je také nabitý. Sundávám obojek a zkouším to na sobě. Dostávám ránu asi tak jako od ohradníku. Nasazujeme ho zpět. Aha, on je nějaký moc volný, to bude ta chyba. Obojek dotahujeme. Dneska jsme bohužel skončili. Louka je plná lidí a další testování je příliš rizikové. Nu což balíme. Vrátíme se sem opět zítra v neděli, těsně po obědě tu nikdo nebude. Uděláme ještě s Hyenou malý okruh na uklidnění kolem louky, tentokrát už na vodítku.

Dnešní odpoledne bohužel nikam nepokročilo. S Hyenou se vracíme zpět k autu. Žádné světlé zítřky a slunce plné obzory se bohužel nekonaly. Neházíme ale flintu do žita, pardon do louky a budeme zítra pokračovat. Snad nám doma láhev svatomartinského vína trochu rozpustí naše deprese a pohneme se trochu dále.

Pokračování příběhu zde.

Petr – smečkočlen  🙂

Hyena skvrnitá
Jsem hyena skvrnitá ... tedy vlastně nejsem byť tak vypadám ... Dali mi jméno Elisia a jsem německá ohařka a tohle je můj blog. Někdy mi říkají taky Elišo nebo Ty zmetku ale já jsem v tom fáaakt nevině. Ráda bych se s Vámi podělila o střípky z mého života. Psát teda nemůžu to dá rozum, drápem to taky moc nejde že, ale někdo ze smečky to jistě rád zařídí :-). Kdyby něco tak mi drápejte na hyena@hyenaskvrnita.cz.
Hyena skvrnitá on GoogleHyena skvrnitá on Rss

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